Someone please make me stop being distracted so easily. Stupid brain won't focus on anything useful.
Currently, my madness is dwelling on how I'm really bad at putting effort into things. I will give up on anything and anyone if I decide that they're more trouble than they're worth. If I actually do go against everything in my nature to put effort into our friendship and get nothing back, I can very easily revert to not giving a fuck about you. I know that, in spite of my childhood paranoia, most people aren't, in fact, mind readers so I try to be as open and honest as my emotionally stifled upbringing will allow - good or bad. You see, in my family, the best thing you can say is a well timed insult so the ball buster in me finds it very difficult to share all of the kind thoughts that actually do occur to me from time to time. I'm by no means suggesting that this is one of my shinning attributes but I also don't feel that it's unreasonable. Just my specific kind of jaded, I suppose.
Currently, my madness is dwelling on how I'm really bad at putting effort into things. I will give up on anything and anyone if I decide that they're more trouble than they're worth. If I actually do go against everything in my nature to put effort into our friendship and get nothing back, I can very easily revert to not giving a fuck about you. I know that, in spite of my childhood paranoia, most people aren't, in fact, mind readers so I try to be as open and honest as my emotionally stifled upbringing will allow - good or bad. You see, in my family, the best thing you can say is a well timed insult so the ball buster in me finds it very difficult to share all of the kind thoughts that actually do occur to me from time to time. I'm by no means suggesting that this is one of my shinning attributes but I also don't feel that it's unreasonable. Just my specific kind of jaded, I suppose.
Speaking of reciprocating affections, I Love How You Love Me has been stuck in my head for days now. I'm sure it's because of all of those Phil Spector billboards but it's still way dreamy. I notice that when I'm extra busy, I tend to belt it out more in the shower and this sounded SO GOOD this morning. For sentimental reasons, my favorite version is from that time Carrick from Everybody Else covered it during one of his acoustic shows. The Paris Sisters version is just a tad too far down the flowery path for my liking so here we have Bobby Vinton's version which still makes me wish I was in a really big skirt at prom.
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