Kill Yourself

Hanna and I went to New York because we found cheap flights. We need very little incentive to do almost anything. I think the fact that our trip had so many issues and I still had the loveliest time speaks volumes to the quality of company I keep. But honestly, sometimes I have to question which way my karmic scale is tipping.

I recently realized that I've traveled to amazing places but that I haven't done enough exploring of my own city and even less of any other state. Short of Vegas and a trip to Disney World, I know nothing of this country and I wouldn't really consider either of those places to be accurate representations of their states. So last year I decided to go to Seattle and froze my ass off. This year I went to New York and got my ass mauled off.

We arrived on Saturday afternoon in time to eat, get a tour of Audrey's adorable neighborhood, and wander over to a beer garden. The next morning we explored a food market in DUMBO where I got a chocolate covered banana, a mango lemonade, and rode the carousel in front of the Brooklyn Bridge on the warmest day. Perfection, much? We talked a lot about how when you go to a new city you can't help but compare it to other places you've been. To me, Brooklyn felt a lot like London but with really great food. I think it's something about a comfort level more than any physical similarity, though I saw those as well. Manhattan felt like every place in existence on crack and I mean that in the best and worst ways possible. I'm super jealous of all of the impossibly large parks but could probably go my entire life without being surrounded by that many people ever again.

A couple weeks ago, it occurred to me that being in New York meant that I'd be on the same side of the country as Sarah so I shot her a message and within an hour she had booked a train ticket to meet me. I haven't seen her since her wedding and I missed her dearly so I was crazy excited. Unfortunately, Murphy's law decided that it would keep us apart a little longer and broke the train that she was on. It took her four hours longer than it was supposed to. Longer to get from Rhode Island to New York than it took us to get there from California. By the time she finally arrived, she only had two hours to spend before she had to get back on a train. All we had a chance to do was walk the High Line and chat about the bun in her oven. They already told her that she will receive a full refund so we are just gonna look on the bright side and call it a free trip to see Cindy.

After leaving Sarah back at the station, we began the third leg of our tour which consisted mostly of standard tourist stuff. I also had to drag Hanna to the Plaza solely because, as someone who has read over a dozen volumes of the Princess Diaries, I couldn't be in New York without seeing where Grandmère held Princess lessons. When we got back to Audrey's, I was mauled by her cat. It was traumatic for everyone involved. We decided that some day we would laugh about it.

The next day we laughed about it. It was hard not to be ridiculously cheerful while each of us was wearing a beautiful dress under the sweetest umbrellas in warm rain. We were practically skipping from joy when we stumbled upon Provini. Holy shit, best dinning experience of my life. Everything about it was DIVINE. The restaurant was beautiful and played a constant stream of music after my own heart while we ate the most delicious pasta I've ever had. We kept laughing at the sublime looks on all of our faces because there were just no words. On the flight home I had a Jack and Coke and rekindled my love affair with professional wrestling.

It's all fodder for the tell-all.

Hanna and her sixth grade portrait on my desktop.

America.

The damage.

The culprit.

BEST. MEAL. EVER.

To love me so.

First things first, I may be banned from Bass Lake, along with my entire family. Those poor people had no idea what they were getting into when they signed up to host our little gathering. We, on the other hand, had a blast.

The gals and I had been craving a girls trip for some time now so, when I heard about this wedding, I insisted that they come along. It was at the Pines Resort in Bass Lake which is right off the lake and only about five miles from Yosemite. I got to sleep in a loft that I'm told is usually only appealing to children but I loved it. I'm sure I don't have to go on about the beauty of nature and whatnot but waking up in that loft and sticking my head out of the tiny little window is pretty much the best way to start any morning.

As I mentioned after the bachelorette party, my family is nuts, but this time there were even more of us. At one point, Hanna looked at me and said that she thought she understood me before but that being around my family made me make even more sense. I am the product of madness. My family is loud, obnoxious, and ape shit crazy but they're also wonderfully witty, supportive, and not to be fucked with. Our group took over the resort and I never even bothered learning anyone's room number because all I had to do was wander into the loudest cabin with the open doors. 

My cousin married an Indian gent so us ladies all signed up to get henna done but there were so many of us that the poor woman was there all day. While they were doing the bride's, which alone took three hours, I noticed that she had dots on her legs so, obviously, my well trained eye saw hidden Mickeys and immediately asked for one in my design. It's the funnest little game of hide and seek.

The ceremony was outside by the lake which I thought was the loveliest setting. It was short but sweet. The bridal party danced down the aisle, there was some bible talk, and then it was over. I got a little annoyed that the pastor failed miserably at speaking both English AND Spanish but that's just me being sensitive. I also wasn't too fond of their music choices but I really shouldn't talk since I will not marry anyone that does not agree to this being our wedding song. It weeds out a lot of the duds, I think. 

The reception is where everything went off the deep end. My family dances. The whole lot of us like to get down but the DJ was TERRIBLE and would have been booed if he weren't friends with the groom. Luckily, we were all enjoying ourselves too much to care that the same song was played five times. By the end of the night, some douche was peeing in a water fountain, my sister had sealed her fate for the next morning, and I had punched someone in the face. You know, standard wedding stuff.

The next morning, Lily forced me to wake up so that we could check out and hit up Yosemite before heading home. I'm really glad that we made time for it because all of the wedding requirements severely hampered my nature time. Very hard to describe Yosemite besides just saying that it's unreal. Pictures don't do it justice but I gotta try, right?

So now I'm considering actually putting away my luggage that has been out since the beginning of March. Won't need it again until June when Cindy goes east coast.

Water Lily.

A Hannimal in her natural habitat.

Sleepy heads.

Mickey not pictured.

Whatchu want!?!?

Get. It.