This is how we do it.

Last week I reached that level of exhaustion that makes you think that there is no other place you would rather be than the bed that you plopped down on even though you are actually really cold since you didn't have it in you to dig your way under the covers, your arm has gone numb because you landed on it when you fell into place, and you are ignoring the fact that a control is digging into your side as if to say "you aren't sleeping, are you?" So I guess you could say that I needed to blow off some steam this week.

Luckily, my cousin's bachelorette party was this weekend so I was obviously obligated to return to Vegas. I know my last trip was very anti-typical but I can't help but love how much this one was the complete cliché experience, besides the fact that I still can't get into gambling away my money and will avoid a buffet at all costs. Vegas with a huge group of girls means that it wasn't very hard for us to get on a list at Hyde the first night. As far as Vegas clubs are concerned, it's pretty typical, except that it has an open patio that looks onto the Bellagio water show and the rest of the strip beyond that. Apart from the ape shit view, the best part was realizing how badly I needed to dance it out. Sometimes you just gotta.

The official festivities began on Saturday at Dick's Last Resort which was responsible for the most exciting part of the evening since their...robust DJ decided that the bride needed a lap dance to the tune of My Pony. 

After that experience, the strip club couldn't compare. I'm not sure if you can tell from how well adjusted I am but my family is NUTS. On the way to the strippers, my mother stuck her ass out of the limo window and started a dog pile with my aunts. What's worse is that she doesn't even drink. This is how she behaves perfectly sober. The strippers were what I expected strippers to be. I feel like, if girl strippers acted like male strippers do, they would make so much more money. Personally, I think grabbing my butt as I get out of my seat is completely ass backwards (I couldn't resist) but I think guys might appreciate it more.

Finally, we booked it to Moon at the Palms because we had reserved a table. Each and every one of us ended up with incriminating photographs. Drunken family drama conversations, making moochers cry, Maroon 5 stunt doubles, and my lack of grace rounded off my evening. Woke up with a massive bump on my head, terrible back pain, a scabbed knee, a busted pinky, and a scratch that very closely resembles a 90s tribal arm band. VEGAS!

I know, I know, I'm gorgeous.